Mapping Intelligence in the Brain

A new study by University of Illinois neuroscience professor, Aaron Barbey, has enlisted 182 veterans with brain injury to explore the connections and roles between different parts of injured and non-injured brain.

http://news.illinois.edu/news/12/0410braininjury_AronBarbey.html

"We found that general intelligence depends on a remarkably circumscribed neural system. Several brain regions, and the connections between them, were most important for general intelligence.

In fact, the particular regions and connections we found support an emerging body of neuroscience evidence indicating that intelligence depends on the brain's ability to integrate information from verbal, visual, spatial and executive processes. [These findings will] open the door to further investigations into the biological basis of intelligence, exploring how the brain, genes, nutrition and the environment together interact to shape the development and continued evolution of the remarkable intellectual abilities that make us human."

The Tower, the Tears, and the Little Dirt Path

Recently, I had a 4 hour long Neuropsych test. Basically, it's a range of tests to determine how your brain is or isn't working in regards to cognitive skills.

The Tower of Hanoi is a series of disks set up like a pyramid on one of three spindles. The idea is that you're supposed to move the tower, piece by piece, from one spindle to another spindle.
 There are a two rules:
- One disk per move
-smaller disks must be on top


When my Dr. presented me with this multicolored wooden object, I immediately relaxed because it reminded me of a toddler's toy. How hard could it be?


Within minutes, I was crying. 
Yeah, that easy. 

Dave McGuire and the Run to Remember

Dave McGuire, a brain injury survivor, ran across Canada last year. In a trip that lasted from April to December, he covered marathon distance each day in an effort to raise awareness for Brain Injury in what he called A Run To Remember




He's really amazing, isn't he?

What Art Can Tell Us About the Brain

Dr. Margaret Livingstone starts speaking at about 5:30

I recently attended a wonderful talk by Dr. Margaret Livingstone, who is a neurobiologist and professor at Harvard. The event took place at Boston University's medical campus, right next to Boston Medical Center. I think there were about 5 artists in the audience, with the rest being medical students and Doctors.  I'll admit that I felt a little out of place, but that didn't matter because I was there to learn something. How often do you get the opportunity to hear someone brilliant speak?

It was interesting being in an audience of scientists. They asked significant questions, which in turn lead on to more learning (for me, at least).

An Open Letter To My Brain Injury

The Hours "Ali In The Jungle" music video - Directed by Jonas Odell from FilmTecknarna on Vimeo.


I ran two miles today. This is the first time I have run since my accident on Easter '09.

But, you knew that. You orchestrated the overwhelming fatigue that washed over me when I tried and failed to do basic household chores (dishes, laundry) and tedious paperwork. You made me sleep for 15 hours a day. You steeped me in anxieties and fear, and you tore apart my self esteem. I clung to my small victories, those minute glimmers of promise.. and you would retaliate in another way, dragging me back and reminding me that for every small parcel I reclaimed, there are a hundred more pieces of me that you had in your possession.

Today, it was different. As the golden hour hit Boston and set the December trees on fire, I pushed up a hill... and then I pushed up another. Emboldened by the lack of fear (of falling), my strides became longer and quicker. A whisper of a meditation of hope turned into a war cry.

I may be slow right now, but I am determined. And I will overcome you. And while I know I still have to play by some of your rules, know this....

It's on, you miserable son of a bitch.

.....
further proof of asskickitude (click for larger):

Progress (thankful for little things)

photo by Flickr user Laskhmi Arvind

I have a SuDoKu taped to the refrigerator. It is an 'easy' puzzle. Numbers are written in orange colored pencil. It also has a date written on it.   I have completed my first SuDoKu puzzle since the injury.  I have no idea how long it took me to complete. I just remember that it was hard to focus on something and keep all of the numbers correct. I kept checking my answers and re-checking.

When I placed it on the refrigerator, I felt like the kid who got her first "A" in math.  I know it's something to be proud of, this accomplishment, but I also know that it is one in a series of small steps to getting "better".  I have a niggling fear that I won't ever return to 'normal'.  But I also have a hope that whatever becomes of me, that I will be good and interesting and grateful. 

If you had the ability to re-shape your life, what would you do?

Charlie Rose :Creative Brain

"Charlie Rose Brain Series Episode Twelve: Creative Brain, a discussion about creativity with artists Richard Serra and Chuck Close, neurologist Oliver Sacks, Ann Temkin, chief curator of painting and sculpture at The Museum of Modern Art and Eric Kandel of Columbia University"

http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/11264

53 minutes

(I must admit that I was painting while listening, so it lacked my full attention). 
I did pick up some interesting information from the discussion.  Chuck Close's methods- why he works the way he does.

Peaceful Warrior

Last week, I watched a movie that I had been wantign to see for a while, but based on it's description, was not sure I wouldn't be reduced to a sobbing mess. You see, I haven't been able to go bicycling/running for well over a year.... and the site of cyclists on the road still fills me with a sense of longing and the burning feeling of missing out.

Peaceful Warrior is based on the true life story of Dan Millman who was a championship gymnast. He was in a motorcycle accident that shattered his right femur.  He overcame his injury and joined his team in winning the NCAA gymnastics championship. If you just knew those facts, you would think it was very nose-to-the-grindstone recovery. All physical.

But, there's a different element. There is the mental element that is the core of this movie. A kind of  re-evaluation of goals and re-stocking of life. The notion of fleeting happiness is addressed.




There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way

Piece of a Life (Peace in a Life)

Piece of a Life (Peace in a Life), 24x48", acrylic on canvas


See a larger version here.

This painting was executed as part of a challenge to incorporate my experiences at Spaulding Rehab. I broadened the challenge and included my experience with my injury, and also included other influences (friends, family, support groups).   
 
There are many things in this painting that hold meaning. Some are more significant than others.  You already know about the fish.


I got the pink lilies from Stow Lily.

also... I've also been busy taking care of G. He's had his second knee operation of the summer, and is healing incredibly well, but has not been able to put weight on his leg.

Dave, continued

all photos and quilt blocks by HeidiElliot on Flickr

Dave has an excellent post, a list from a book, on 40 things needed the most after someone gets a brain injury.  I posted the ones most important/ relevant to me. Keep in mind that, like John Byler says, brain injuries are like fingerprints- they're all different.
http://temporallobeblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/after-my-brain-injury-these-are-40.html

1) I am not stupid, I am wounded. Please respect me.

2) Come close, speak slowly, and enunciate clearly

4) Be as patient with me the 20th time you teach me something, as you were the first.

10) Honour the healing power of sleep

12) Stimulate my brain when I have any energy to learn something new, but know that a small amount may wear me out quickly.

16) Trust that I am trying – Just not with your skill level or on your schedule

17) Ask me multiple choice questions. Avoid Yes/No questions

18) Ask me questions with specific answers. Allow me time to hunt for an answer.

19) Do not assess my cognitive ability by how fast I can think.

24) Break all actions down into smaller steps of actions.

25) Look for what obstacles prevent me from succeeding on a task

27) Remember that I have to be proficient at one level of function before I can move on the next level.

28) Celebrate all of my little successes. They inspire me.

29) Please don’t finish my sentences of me or fill in words I can’t find. I need to work my brain.

31) I may want you to think I understand more than I really do

32) Focus on what I can do rather than bemoan what I cannot do.
 

33) Introduce me to my old life. Don’t assume that because I cannot play like I used to play that I won’t continue to enjoy music or an instrument, etc.

34) Remember that in the absence of some functions, I have gained other abilities

37) Love me for who I am today. Don’t hold me to being the person I was before. I have a different brain now.


38) Be protective of me but do not stand in the way of my progress.

40) Remember that my medications probably make me feel tired, as well as mask m ability to know what it feels like to be me.

Taken from My Stroke Of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.

Meet Dave

http://daves-runtoremember.blogspot.com/

He has become an Ironman athlete since his brain injury. This is really huge considering how much one has to remember to get through training AND the triathlon.   For example, Dave writes:

"How does someone who doesn’t remember what lap they are on, get in any kind of a quality workout. When we are talking about the 3.8kl distance needed for the Ironman. How does the athlete remember the laps? The drills.

With the Garmin I can put specific workouts in, I can do heart rate, speed drills, cadence drills, time drills, etc. When I am in the water however it is just me. 

After many different ideas we found some water proof paper. I right down my specific drills. I.e. free style, kick's with the board, and other drills. I could mark down when I finished a lap, and keep track, so I would not over or under train."

 Running Shoes by timtak on flickr

And on the appropriately titled post "Having a TBI really sucks sometimes",  Dave goes on about just getting his gear together to go train (a simple run):

"I don’t like the fact that I get over stimulated so easy. I can’t cope with multiple things going on at once on a good day. Let alone when there multiple “big” things all happening at once.when I over stimulated my brain is like an old record that keeps skipping. Inside my head I am constantly spinning on the same spot. An example would be. Where I am going? I am going for run after my bike. I need shoes for my run. I go to the closet and I forget why I am there. So I ask myself “where am I going? I am going for a run” I need to get shoes. I go and get shoes only to forget why I am at the closet. This spinning has becoming increased, and on top of the spinning I flood.

Flooding is where I am over stimulated. I am running to many programs at once in my head. I am thinking about money, I am thinking that my landlord has not returned my damage deposit. I am thinking about my wife, I am thinking about my bike and my run. I am thinking I don’t have any money. I get so anxious over not having enough food. That has been the latest freak out. In my head I keep thinking I don’t have enough of the foods I need to train at this level. I keep going to the fridge and making sure it is there. Then I forget and go back and check. Then I realize I am looking for my shoes.

Then a phone call will come that the previous owner did not pay the electrical bill, that New Westminster electrical is coming after the new owners for it. I paid my electrical bill, why do I have to pay his? This was covered by the notary. Where are my shoes?"

Army Wives- Part 2

Memory Fragments photo by lovefibre on flickr

Continuing from yesterday's post on Army Wives' depiction of a Traumatic Brain Injury.
*****
Episode 13

Joan is working on her memory by using flash cards. She says she feels like she's back in elementary school. Roland tells her she has to "walk before she can run"

Later on, Joan is going stir crazy and has a need to exercise.  She says that for other injuries she could work it out, but regarding her brain "she can't just get on a treadmill and push past the pain". She says' that "I've been stuck in this house all afternoon, I'm going out"
 Her husband objects "Exercise can interfere with your healing".  This is very hard to stomach if you've led an active life.

 Joan heads out to jog. And this is where the story was too familiar for me.... she got lost. I can't tell you the panic I had when I first got lost. I was in tears. I never got lost, what was going on?  She ends up calling the Sergeant (who recently regained his ability to drive) to help her out. He picks her up.  Joan-"sorry to bother you, you're the only person I know who understands. I got lost a mile from my own house... I expect more from myself".   note- I got lost in an airport. I was getting a juice two gates away, and had no idea where I was. Talk about re-assessing.


A lot of the her story is focused on taking it easy to recover from her injury. In the military, the commonly accepted form of rehabilitation is to push through it, and if you aren't pushing hard enough, you aren't going to get better... which leads me to another storyline that's telling in it's juxtaposition. There is a daughter of an officer who went through knee surgery. She is sad because she's not getting better, and that doesn't bode well for her ice hockey.  Her father takes her out, tells her to push through it, and has her run up and down stairs. A lot. His quote "She's not gonna improve if she doesn't push herself".  She does end up getting better.

And now back to Joan
On why she doesn't want to go to a military gathering-
 she's on convalescent leave, and feels like she is failing/ being weak. When her troops look at her, there aren't any outward signs of her injury, leaving the viewer to question what's wrong with her (invisible disability, common problem).  She notes that when there were stitches on her face, it was easy to see and understand (sometimes, I wish I still had my black eye and stitches for this very reason).

Honestly, I would not have gone to the event simply because there would be too many things going on, too many people talking- conversations are sometimes hard to follow.  And if there's an inkling that I will be stressed out in any way, it's best to avoid the situation and meltdown that most often follows. This event would be like running a marathon on a sprained ankle. Stresses the brain too much.

There will be more to the story, and I am interested in watching how it pans out.  I guess I'm happy that someone is taking a thoughtful look at brain injury.
There is a page with a bit of information about brain injury on the Army Wives site.

photo by izqrdo on flickr.   
photo by jillyspoon on flickr

Army Wives- Part 1

 Pink Garden by Ray_chel on flickr

My dear sweet friend Kat called me to tell me about a show she's been watching, Army Wives. Kat told me that the people who put together the show decided to tackle Traumatic Brain Injury, and by what I've told her about my injury, she's been impressed by the depiction in the show. So, I hunted high and low for the episodes.

I found a few, Episode 12 and 13 of the fourth season. Sadly, I missed episode 10 and 11, in which the character, Joan, figures out what is going on. If anybody has a link for either of these two, I would surely like to see them, as they show the beginning of dealing with the problem.  I think the hardest part about brain injury is figuring out what is going on, and dealing with everyday life at the same time (you look normal, why are you being so weird/lazy/bitchy?).

CARF Butterfly

H.M.Craig, "What Lies Within Us", acrylic and oil on hardwood panel

Good news!  The above painting has been selected to be in CARF International's corporate collection! CARF International is a nonprofit organization that works on accreditation for rehabilitation facilities  (like the one I went to).  They had an art call for people who have been or are going through rehab.* There were about 1,000 submissions.    I consider myself lucky to have been picked.

Even better news, some new friends of mine, Luca and Sebouh, also had pieces selected! They have also had brain injuries and are very passionate about creating art. We have come to know each other because we all volunteer at Spaulding Rehab hospital's Peace Art Gallery committee.  Joan Horgan, the head of the committee, made sure our achievement was celebrated and brought in a wonderful chocolate ganache cake with all of our names on it. We met David Storto, who offered his congratulations.  We were also given a toast by another great lady....... who's name I totally forget (memory problems), but I can tell you that she had a beautiful green necklace (me and shiny things, go figure).  There were pictures taken, and Sebouh declared us to be the "Dream Team".


*art therapy is a big-time healer of minds and lifter of spirits!

Creativity in America

Create Art photo by Pringle Hill on Flickr

When someone is describing another as creative, what do you suppose they mean? Would it be that they're painting frescoes on their living room ceiling and know how to decorate wine glasses? Would it mean that they had an unusual idea to solve a problem (Bob over there rigged his lawnmower to the Roomba). Can they make up a song or a story?

It's all of the above. Creativity isn't just relegated to the arts. Creativity is a way of problem solving. A way of figuring out  how we're going to turn grass into gas, how we're going to re-structure business, how we're going to deal with education in economically diverse areas. Creativity is good for all of us.

The problem is, our culture has been sorely under-valuing creativity. According to this Newsweek article, it's starting to show.

"Kim found creativity scores had been steadily rising, just like IQ scores, until 1990. Since then, creativity scores have consistently inched downward. “It’s very clear, and the decrease is very significant,” Kim says. It is the scores of younger children in America—from kindergarten through sixth grade—for whom the decline is “most serious.”

The potential consequences are sweeping. The necessity of human ingenuity is undisputed. A recent IBM poll of 1,500 CEOs identified creativity as the No. 1 “leadership competency” of the future. 

The Visible and the Invisible

Rainbow droplet by Mrs eNil on flickr

G and I have just returned from a wonderful trip to Louisiana to visit family, and celebrate a 90th birthday (!!!). All in all, the trip was wonderful. And tiring. But good.

A little background for the rest of the post..   G has been on crutches for about a month due to a 'funny' knee (surgery scheduled tomorrow). I have a brain injury- he can't walk.  We jokingly call our home "The House of the Broken".  It's been said that put together-we make one good person, with G being the brains and me being the brawn (or was it beauty?!).

Neither one of us really expects special treatment.

So, we were standing in line at the check-in counter of the airport, patiently waiting our turn. G had his crutches, so I was in charge of the bags. I carried things, and he figured out where we should go (there are soooo many signs in the airport, it makes me confused).       While we were in line, a lady directing the flow of traffic re-routed us to the head of a special disabled lane.  She took one look at his crutches and made a decision. But, nothing appears to be wrong with me... so there is no special treatment.

When we were heading to the gate, G was offered a ride in an airport cart. G politely declined.
I asked him to reconsider if the little cart was ever offered again, and explained that I might be better off not having all the energy sucked out of me because we had to walk 3,675 miles across the airport. It would have saved both of us some trouble, truthfully.

 Sometimes, I am afraid to ask for help... because I look 'normal'. At first glance, I don't have a "real" disability, and the general public seems to wish death on those that are deemed "faking".  If I am already fatigued or confused, I don't want to add to the stress by trying to convince someone that, yes, I actually am disabled (I have been in this situation before and it's awful). This is especially precarious considering that I have a loss of verbal filter, and can easily picture myself cussing out/throwing things at the individual that is questioning my condition (resulting in me getting kicked out of the premises, and possibly landing in jail).  Fun for everybody!

So, here we are.. a day before G's surgery. He is the visible, I am the invisible.   Thank goodness for people who understand both.



disabled parking permits photo by Chris John Beckett on Flickr.
logan airport by dmhergert on flickr.

Recreating Me... a show in Seattle

HMCraig, "Opportunities", 30x40", acrylic on canvas

My painting, "Opportunities" has been accepted to show at and event sponsored by the Washington State Brain Injury Association. "Recreating Me: Exploring and Healing Through Creative Expression" is at the Burke Museum of Natural History from July 7-11.

The Burke Museum of Natural History and Culture
NE 45th St &15th Avenue NE

University of Washington Seattle, WA 98195-3010

Erik Johnson- Work of Art

Colorful Lights by KevinDooley on Flickr

I've been watching Bravo's new reality show "Work of Art, The Next Great Artist". I watch because it is amusing, and I hope that it gets the general public more interested in and not as afraid of walking into a gallery. That's neither here or there, for this post though.

  The second episode that aired this week had a little bit of a blurb by one of the artists competing. It went something like this  ... 

"since my brain injury is on my left side, I've gotten obsessive about art"....   followed by "I just lost my train of thought"  

  Not the exact quote, but you get the idea.  I stopped sketching, and sat with full attention directed at the television, at Erik.  My people!!!!!      When I first heard about this show, I thought to myself... "there's no way I would be able to do that, my injury would overrun me and I would have a breakdown on camera....  I wonder if they would accept anyone like me?".   And.. they did.  And... I'm happy.

I found the "Get to Know Erik" video on Bravo's site, along with his Bio. I patiently watched, and wondered... would he say something more about his brain injury?  And... he did.

Erik Johnson says he had a "series, of three pretty major head injuries. Things just got more and more intense and weirder and art kinda grew from that. That's when the art just kind of became obsessive where I couldn't. Stop. Doing. It."

That sounds familiar.


Erik did say in the episode that there was a motorcycle accident, but he hasn't explained any more... what types of injuries, how severe. Maybe Bravo is just saving this for future episodes?            I'll let you all know.

The Administrative Artist (or the beautiful life)

photo by maessive on flickr

There is a book titled "I'd Rather be in the Studio", and it is a highly recommended tool to have for artists. There is another book titled "The Artist's Guide: How to Make a Living Doing What You Love". I know what the general perception by the public of artists is- people who get to play with paint/marble all day and have no adherence to the rigors of what the rest of our society has constructed to be a normal productive life (no 9-5).  So, here I was, a sundress wearin' croissant munchin' artist with paint up to my elbows, surrounded by flowers,  and a dreamy view of the world, when it really started to sink in.... there is a business side. There is a marketing side. There is an administrative side.   Uh oh.  Trouble in Shangri-La.

photo by angelalachan on flickr

No, not really... it sort of crept in every week. Blog. Check. Online website. Check. Submission forms for shows (with submission fee). Shipping arrangements for shows across the country. Inventory list (keep track of what paintings are where). Free online portfolio pages (to increase traffic). Marking things in the calendar with alarms (that pesky memory thing). Supplies log/ordering. Art Association memberships. .... 

This past week, though, it has been about business and post cards. One must have business cards. Postcards are also helpful to leave with artwork, just in case anyone has any questions about the artist or would just like something to hang on their refrigerator/cubicle/inspiration board.  So, I set out to design some. And then I had to find companies that would produce them (good quality for a reasonable fee). There is too much involved in something so simple (and my brain injury wasn't helping).  So, I made sure to order a lot, because I don't want to run out anytime soon, and start the whole process again (this may be a misstep, not sure yet).

photo by timmygunz on flickr

Yesterday, it was shipping and submission forms. Later on today, I am going to figure out how to get to a hardware store and get a hanging solution for a storefront. Tomorrow I have to deliver paintings, postcards, and a release form. After that, there is an art commission meeting. Sometimes, I am at stores (thrift, antique, grocery), looking for new objects to include in paintings.    I "work" on art all the time.  Just not solely on paintings.   

One of these days, I will figure out a schedule to relegate administrative duties to. The alternative plan is to get so fabulously well to do that I can hire an assistant. Wouldn't we all like assistants? 

Lesson Learned

When I am tired, for want of a nap, I should never ever ever listen to Dead Can Dance.  When I am tired, I am subject to the throes of mood swings. They are pretty intense, and small things can send me on an emotional journey.