What Art Can Tell Us About the Brain

Dr. Margaret Livingstone starts speaking at about 5:30

I recently attended a wonderful talk by Dr. Margaret Livingstone, who is a neurobiologist and professor at Harvard. The event took place at Boston University's medical campus, right next to Boston Medical Center. I think there were about 5 artists in the audience, with the rest being medical students and Doctors.  I'll admit that I felt a little out of place, but that didn't matter because I was there to learn something. How often do you get the opportunity to hear someone brilliant speak?

It was interesting being in an audience of scientists. They asked significant questions, which in turn lead on to more learning (for me, at least).

An Open Letter To My Brain Injury

The Hours "Ali In The Jungle" music video - Directed by Jonas Odell from FilmTecknarna on Vimeo.


I ran two miles today. This is the first time I have run since my accident on Easter '09.

But, you knew that. You orchestrated the overwhelming fatigue that washed over me when I tried and failed to do basic household chores (dishes, laundry) and tedious paperwork. You made me sleep for 15 hours a day. You steeped me in anxieties and fear, and you tore apart my self esteem. I clung to my small victories, those minute glimmers of promise.. and you would retaliate in another way, dragging me back and reminding me that for every small parcel I reclaimed, there are a hundred more pieces of me that you had in your possession.

Today, it was different. As the golden hour hit Boston and set the December trees on fire, I pushed up a hill... and then I pushed up another. Emboldened by the lack of fear (of falling), my strides became longer and quicker. A whisper of a meditation of hope turned into a war cry.

I may be slow right now, but I am determined. And I will overcome you. And while I know I still have to play by some of your rules, know this....

It's on, you miserable son of a bitch.

.....
further proof of asskickitude (click for larger):

Progress (thankful for little things)

photo by Flickr user Laskhmi Arvind

I have a SuDoKu taped to the refrigerator. It is an 'easy' puzzle. Numbers are written in orange colored pencil. It also has a date written on it.   I have completed my first SuDoKu puzzle since the injury.  I have no idea how long it took me to complete. I just remember that it was hard to focus on something and keep all of the numbers correct. I kept checking my answers and re-checking.

When I placed it on the refrigerator, I felt like the kid who got her first "A" in math.  I know it's something to be proud of, this accomplishment, but I also know that it is one in a series of small steps to getting "better".  I have a niggling fear that I won't ever return to 'normal'.  But I also have a hope that whatever becomes of me, that I will be good and interesting and grateful. 

If you had the ability to re-shape your life, what would you do?

Creativity in America

Create Art photo by Pringle Hill on Flickr

When someone is describing another as creative, what do you suppose they mean? Would it be that they're painting frescoes on their living room ceiling and know how to decorate wine glasses? Would it mean that they had an unusual idea to solve a problem (Bob over there rigged his lawnmower to the Roomba). Can they make up a song or a story?

It's all of the above. Creativity isn't just relegated to the arts. Creativity is a way of problem solving. A way of figuring out  how we're going to turn grass into gas, how we're going to re-structure business, how we're going to deal with education in economically diverse areas. Creativity is good for all of us.

The problem is, our culture has been sorely under-valuing creativity. According to this Newsweek article, it's starting to show.

"Kim found creativity scores had been steadily rising, just like IQ scores, until 1990. Since then, creativity scores have consistently inched downward. “It’s very clear, and the decrease is very significant,” Kim says. It is the scores of younger children in America—from kindergarten through sixth grade—for whom the decline is “most serious.”

The potential consequences are sweeping. The necessity of human ingenuity is undisputed. A recent IBM poll of 1,500 CEOs identified creativity as the No. 1 “leadership competency” of the future. 

The Visible and the Invisible

Rainbow droplet by Mrs eNil on flickr

G and I have just returned from a wonderful trip to Louisiana to visit family, and celebrate a 90th birthday (!!!). All in all, the trip was wonderful. And tiring. But good.

A little background for the rest of the post..   G has been on crutches for about a month due to a 'funny' knee (surgery scheduled tomorrow). I have a brain injury- he can't walk.  We jokingly call our home "The House of the Broken".  It's been said that put together-we make one good person, with G being the brains and me being the brawn (or was it beauty?!).

Neither one of us really expects special treatment.

So, we were standing in line at the check-in counter of the airport, patiently waiting our turn. G had his crutches, so I was in charge of the bags. I carried things, and he figured out where we should go (there are soooo many signs in the airport, it makes me confused).       While we were in line, a lady directing the flow of traffic re-routed us to the head of a special disabled lane.  She took one look at his crutches and made a decision. But, nothing appears to be wrong with me... so there is no special treatment.

When we were heading to the gate, G was offered a ride in an airport cart. G politely declined.
I asked him to reconsider if the little cart was ever offered again, and explained that I might be better off not having all the energy sucked out of me because we had to walk 3,675 miles across the airport. It would have saved both of us some trouble, truthfully.

 Sometimes, I am afraid to ask for help... because I look 'normal'. At first glance, I don't have a "real" disability, and the general public seems to wish death on those that are deemed "faking".  If I am already fatigued or confused, I don't want to add to the stress by trying to convince someone that, yes, I actually am disabled (I have been in this situation before and it's awful). This is especially precarious considering that I have a loss of verbal filter, and can easily picture myself cussing out/throwing things at the individual that is questioning my condition (resulting in me getting kicked out of the premises, and possibly landing in jail).  Fun for everybody!

So, here we are.. a day before G's surgery. He is the visible, I am the invisible.   Thank goodness for people who understand both.



disabled parking permits photo by Chris John Beckett on Flickr.
logan airport by dmhergert on flickr.

The Administrative Artist (or the beautiful life)

photo by maessive on flickr

There is a book titled "I'd Rather be in the Studio", and it is a highly recommended tool to have for artists. There is another book titled "The Artist's Guide: How to Make a Living Doing What You Love". I know what the general perception by the public of artists is- people who get to play with paint/marble all day and have no adherence to the rigors of what the rest of our society has constructed to be a normal productive life (no 9-5).  So, here I was, a sundress wearin' croissant munchin' artist with paint up to my elbows, surrounded by flowers,  and a dreamy view of the world, when it really started to sink in.... there is a business side. There is a marketing side. There is an administrative side.   Uh oh.  Trouble in Shangri-La.

photo by angelalachan on flickr

No, not really... it sort of crept in every week. Blog. Check. Online website. Check. Submission forms for shows (with submission fee). Shipping arrangements for shows across the country. Inventory list (keep track of what paintings are where). Free online portfolio pages (to increase traffic). Marking things in the calendar with alarms (that pesky memory thing). Supplies log/ordering. Art Association memberships. .... 

This past week, though, it has been about business and post cards. One must have business cards. Postcards are also helpful to leave with artwork, just in case anyone has any questions about the artist or would just like something to hang on their refrigerator/cubicle/inspiration board.  So, I set out to design some. And then I had to find companies that would produce them (good quality for a reasonable fee). There is too much involved in something so simple (and my brain injury wasn't helping).  So, I made sure to order a lot, because I don't want to run out anytime soon, and start the whole process again (this may be a misstep, not sure yet).

photo by timmygunz on flickr

Yesterday, it was shipping and submission forms. Later on today, I am going to figure out how to get to a hardware store and get a hanging solution for a storefront. Tomorrow I have to deliver paintings, postcards, and a release form. After that, there is an art commission meeting. Sometimes, I am at stores (thrift, antique, grocery), looking for new objects to include in paintings.    I "work" on art all the time.  Just not solely on paintings.   

One of these days, I will figure out a schedule to relegate administrative duties to. The alternative plan is to get so fabulously well to do that I can hire an assistant. Wouldn't we all like assistants? 

Inappropiate Words

A few nights ago, after dinner, I thought to myself.. " I would really like to have some purple".

Yeah, I know. What the heck does that mean?

Today (rejoice in small things)

 

photo by CalsidyRose on flickr

I crossed a busy street, by myself, and didn't have any anxiety about getting hit by a car. I can not tell you how happy this makes me!   I'm getting better!

After the accident, I was hyper-anxious and aware of the tons of steel and glass barreling past me, and the drivers who were texting/changing music/talking on the phone/sleepy*..in short not paying attention. I did not get hit by a car (but have been thisclose on several occasions, often while cycling..and I know people who have been hit while cycling). I got my injury because I had tripped and hit my head on pavement.  One would think that I would be scared of falling... and I kind of am. I hold my hands out around me when I'm walking down stairs or am navigating a tricky surface (ice, snow, rocks).

  The hyper anxiety about potentially unsafe situations is apparently a symptom. It's the brain's way of keeping me out of danger. My brain is/was acting like a driver's ed teacher with the brake on their side of the car. Danger, Will Robinson.

Today, I feel a little more normal. I don't feel like such a nut, having to hold somebody's hand or check the road 12 times both ways, or just avoiding crossing altogether. I did avoid crossing the road for a while. I would walk the dogs down the street, always on the same side I lived on.  Thinking about traffic made me very anxious, scared, crazy (I'm a grown woman, fer cryin' out loud).

So, the little things, here's to them. May we rejoice in small victories.

*if you are a driver that is distracted, please visit this link, and then sign Oprah's No Phone Zone pledge.

On the Importance of Naps for Everybody

 

photo by epicture on Flickr

Naps are pretty important to my recovery. I've posted about the effects of not napping before. I get worn down pretty quickly. It turns out that naps are beneficial for everybody's brain, according to a newly released study from the University of Berkeley California.

  If you see a student dozing in the library or a co-worker catching 40 winks in her cubicle, don't roll your eyes. New research from the University of California, Berkeley, shows that an hour's nap can dramatically boost and restore your brain power. Indeed, the findings suggest that a biphasic sleep schedule not only refreshes the mind, but can make you smarter.

  Conversely, the more hours we spend awake, the more sluggish our minds become, according to the findings. The results support previous data from the same research team that pulling an all-nighter – a common practice at college during midterms and finals –- decreases the ability to cram in new facts by nearly 40 percent, due to a shutdown of brain regions during sleep deprivation.

  "Sleep not only rights the wrong of prolonged wakefulness but, at a neurocognitive level, it moves you beyond where you were before you took a nap," said Matthew Walker, an assistant professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and the lead investigator of these studies.

"It's as though the e-mail inbox in your hippocampus is full and, until you sleep and clear out those fact e-mails, you're not going to receive any more mail. It's just going to bounce until you sleep and move it into another folder," Walker said.

emphasis mine.

So, when do we start Siesta in our culture? Can you imagine that???  Naps... they're quite the luxury and not very productive, are they?  There is a great graphic from the Boston Globe on napping, check it out.

I originally found this on Lifehacker, a source for a lot of useful things, especially if you are technologically inclined.

Working with Bricks

I am trying to build a massive wall. It's a bit hard, though, because I have some limitations. I get confused by some relatively simple things (which will then occupy me for a while), and have a bit of a problem with sequencing. Throw in headaches and fatigue and it's quite the party!
My massive wall is what amounts to getting my artwork out in the world. This blog is a section of the wall.. The little things that go into this blog (such as deciding on a font for the text, or trying to write up a profile, or just adding a post) are each a brick. I'm pretty happy if I can get two bricks laid perfectly in a day. Then it is naptime, because those two bricks sucked the energy out of me.
I have laid down two bricks today (this post, and putting up a parked image* on my website). I am feeling pretty accomplished.

I will be posting my artwork, I promise. One brick at a time.

btw, I totally stole this idea. Will Smith. I couldn't watch it all the way through, because I can't focus that long, so I get to watch the rest later.

*I already had a website, but didn't have content on it. So, while I was paying for the website, the hosting company was using it as advertising for themselves. I just made a quick (as quick as I can move...which isn't that quick) image to claim my space.