Dave McGuire and the Run to Remember

Dave McGuire, a brain injury survivor, ran across Canada last year. In a trip that lasted from April to December, he covered marathon distance each day in an effort to raise awareness for Brain Injury in what he called A Run To Remember




He's really amazing, isn't he?

Improvement (a kind of Thanksgiving)

I am getting better.
Whether I am actually healing, or just getting better at dealing with symptoms, or maybe a combination of the two... there seem to be more days without headaches and fatigue.

In September, I was able to go for my first bike ride in well over 2 years. A route was picked, and I made sure that G had a copy of the route with all of the possible shortcuts I might take (just in case...).  Maps, cellphone, RoadID, GPS, water, spare tubes, tool kit, and snack were carefully packed. Bicycle tires were pumped up. I wore a neon color so that drivers could see me.


My backpack is filled with stuff like this... always be prepared. Flickr photo by ICBondurant

I took one last look at the map to make sure I knew where I was going. And I promptly had a panic attack. I didn't know where Weston Road was. What would happen if I got lost? What happens when I get tired because of riding? (answer- my cognitive abilities dissipate..and I might get lost.. or make a wrong decision and get hit by a car).... Where would I be then? I grew more terrified of all of the things that could go wrong. What happens if I get hit? What happens if I get hit and it makes my brain injury worse???? Haven't I already gone through enough?? Maybe I'll just stay home and take a nap.....

This went on for an hour.
I managed to slightly convince myself that everything would be ok, and if it wasn't, I could call G and he could pick me up.  Talking myself down took some effort.  I had to remember all the times that groups of riders would pass by our house, and I was sad that I couldn't join them... it was too dangerous for someone like me to be on a little bicycle around cars.

After putting my helmet and cycling shoes on, I took "Sparky" (my red bicycle) out the door, and sat in the driveway a minute or two.  It was very much like standing on the edge of a cliff, and convincing myself that my rappelling gear would hold me if I went over..

Rolling from the driveway onto the road was scary.
For the first two or so miles, I was nothing but nerves. Terrified.  Even though I had picked a quiet day, there were cars... and traffic was a quick reminder to keep my head swiveling, be alert. 

I don't know when comfort settled in. Maybe it was Weston Road, with it's quiet leafy dips and hills. Maybe it was the familiar turning of the crank, the shifting.

What I do know is that I felt a sense of freedom, finally. I could get to a place without being a passenger. And I didn't end up taking any shortcuts.

One of my favorite places to go in Concord MA, photo by Ms. Jen on Flickr

An Open Letter To My Brain Injury

The Hours "Ali In The Jungle" music video - Directed by Jonas Odell from FilmTecknarna on Vimeo.


I ran two miles today. This is the first time I have run since my accident on Easter '09.

But, you knew that. You orchestrated the overwhelming fatigue that washed over me when I tried and failed to do basic household chores (dishes, laundry) and tedious paperwork. You made me sleep for 15 hours a day. You steeped me in anxieties and fear, and you tore apart my self esteem. I clung to my small victories, those minute glimmers of promise.. and you would retaliate in another way, dragging me back and reminding me that for every small parcel I reclaimed, there are a hundred more pieces of me that you had in your possession.

Today, it was different. As the golden hour hit Boston and set the December trees on fire, I pushed up a hill... and then I pushed up another. Emboldened by the lack of fear (of falling), my strides became longer and quicker. A whisper of a meditation of hope turned into a war cry.

I may be slow right now, but I am determined. And I will overcome you. And while I know I still have to play by some of your rules, know this....

It's on, you miserable son of a bitch.

.....
further proof of asskickitude (click for larger):

Meet Dave

http://daves-runtoremember.blogspot.com/

He has become an Ironman athlete since his brain injury. This is really huge considering how much one has to remember to get through training AND the triathlon.   For example, Dave writes:

"How does someone who doesn’t remember what lap they are on, get in any kind of a quality workout. When we are talking about the 3.8kl distance needed for the Ironman. How does the athlete remember the laps? The drills.

With the Garmin I can put specific workouts in, I can do heart rate, speed drills, cadence drills, time drills, etc. When I am in the water however it is just me. 

After many different ideas we found some water proof paper. I right down my specific drills. I.e. free style, kick's with the board, and other drills. I could mark down when I finished a lap, and keep track, so I would not over or under train."

 Running Shoes by timtak on flickr

And on the appropriately titled post "Having a TBI really sucks sometimes",  Dave goes on about just getting his gear together to go train (a simple run):

"I don’t like the fact that I get over stimulated so easy. I can’t cope with multiple things going on at once on a good day. Let alone when there multiple “big” things all happening at once.when I over stimulated my brain is like an old record that keeps skipping. Inside my head I am constantly spinning on the same spot. An example would be. Where I am going? I am going for run after my bike. I need shoes for my run. I go to the closet and I forget why I am there. So I ask myself “where am I going? I am going for a run” I need to get shoes. I go and get shoes only to forget why I am at the closet. This spinning has becoming increased, and on top of the spinning I flood.

Flooding is where I am over stimulated. I am running to many programs at once in my head. I am thinking about money, I am thinking that my landlord has not returned my damage deposit. I am thinking about my wife, I am thinking about my bike and my run. I am thinking I don’t have any money. I get so anxious over not having enough food. That has been the latest freak out. In my head I keep thinking I don’t have enough of the foods I need to train at this level. I keep going to the fridge and making sure it is there. Then I forget and go back and check. Then I realize I am looking for my shoes.

Then a phone call will come that the previous owner did not pay the electrical bill, that New Westminster electrical is coming after the new owners for it. I paid my electrical bill, why do I have to pay his? This was covered by the notary. Where are my shoes?"