Sunday, February 28, 2010

Today (rejoice in small things)


I crossed a busy street, by myself, and didn't have any anxiety about getting hit by a car. I can not tell you how happy this makes me!   I'm getting better!

After the accident, I was hyper-anxious and aware of the tons of steel and glass barreling past me, and the drivers who were texting/changing music/talking on the phone/sleepy* short not paying attention. I did not get hit by a car (but have been thisclose on several occasions, often while cycling..and I know people who have been hit while cycling). I got my injury because I had tripped and hit my head on pavement.  One would think that I would be scared of falling... and I kind of am. I hold my hands out around me when I'm walking down stairs or am navigating a tricky surface (ice, snow, rocks).

  The hyper anxiety about potentially unsafe situations is apparently a symptom. It's the brain's way of keeping me out of danger. My brain is/was acting like a driver's ed teacher with the brake on their side of the car. Danger, Will Robinson.

Today, I feel a little more normal. I don't feel like such a nut, having to hold somebody's hand or check the road 12 times both ways, or just avoiding crossing altogether. I did avoid crossing the road for a while. I would walk the dogs down the street, always on the same side I lived on.  Thinking about traffic made me very anxious, scared, crazy (I'm a grown woman, fer cryin' out loud).

So, the little things, here's to them. May we rejoice in small victories.

*if you are a driver that is distracted, please visit this link, and then sign Oprah's No Phone Zone pledge.

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